Holiday Survival Checklist

Holidays + family can be a lot - especially when there is history, expectations, or pressure to "be okay". Some of us really, truly enjoy being around our family members - and that is fantastic! Unfortunately, that is not the truth for many. If you need it - here is a grounded, compassionate way to cope that does not require you to be a different person than you are.

Before You Go (Prep & Protection)

• Decide how long I am staying (set arrival + exit time)

• Identify 2 topics I won't engage in (example: body, politics, relationships)

• Choose 1-2 boundary phrases to repeat if needed

  • "I'm not discussing that today."

  • "Let's change the subject."

• Remind myself: I am not responsible for managing others' feelings.

• Lower expectations: "Getting through" is success.

Pack Your Regulation Kit

• Headphones/calming playlist

• Comfort item (ring, stone, hoodie, fidget)

• Phone note with grounding reminders

• Medication, water, snack (blood sugar matters!)

• Exit excuse ready (real or vague)

During the Gathering

• Sit near an easy exit if possible

• Take micro-breaks (bathroom, outside, kitchen)

• Use neutral responses for intrusive comments

  • "Hmm"

  • "I see."

  • "That's one way to think about it."

• Breathe: longer exhale than inhale

• Remember: I can disengage without leaving.

If Things Escalate

• Name 5 things I can see

• Plant feet, feel the floor

• Repeat boundary once, then disengage

• Step away without explaining

• If needed: leave early (this is not failure)

Aftercare (Non-Negotiable)

• Change clothes as soon as I get home

• Eat something comforting

• Do one soothing activity (shower, TV, music, coloring)

• Limit rumination (set a "worry timer")

• Sleep or rest without guilt

Reframe the Day

• What I did well:

• One moment I protected myself:

• One thing I can release now:

• Affirmation: "I showed up as much as I could. That is enough."

I hope you enjoy your Holiday season!