The Good, Better, Best Skill: A Different Way to Approach Motivation

Have you ever noticed that your brain tends to think in extremes?

Either you'll clean the entire house or you won't clean at all. Either you'll complete a full workout or you'll skip exercise entirely. Either you'll cook a healthy meal from scratch or you'll order takeout.

For many people, this all-or-nothing mindset creates a frustrating cycle:

You set the bar extremely high.

You don't have the energy, time, or motivation to reach it.

You do nothing instead.

Then you feel guilty for doing nothing.

If this pattern sounds familiar, the Good, Better, Best Skill might help.

What Is the Good, Better, Best Skill?

The Good, Better, Best Skill is a way of creating multiple versions of success. Instead of asking: "What's the ideal outcome?", you ask: "What's good? What's better? What's best?"

The goal is to create options rather than ultimatums. Because when your brain believes the only acceptable outcome is "best", it's often easier to give up entirely.

Why This Skill Works

Many people assume motivation comes first and action follows. Research on behavioral activation suggests the opposite is often true. Action frequently comes before motivation.

When we're overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, burned out, or exhausted, waiting until we feel motivated can keep us stuck. The Good, Better, Best Skill lowers the barrier to getting started. Instead of asking yourself to do everything, you ask yourself to do something. And something is often enough to create momentum.

The Problem With All-or-Nothing Thinking

All-or-nothing thinking is a common cognitive distortion. It sounds like:

• "If I can't do it perfectly, why bother?"

• "If I miss one day, I've failed."

• "If I can't finish the entire task, it's not worth starting."

• "If I don't have an hour, there's no point."

These thoughts create impossible standards. The result is often avoidance, procrastination, shame or burnout.

The Good, Better, Best Skill introduces flexibility. And flexibility is often what helps us keep moving.

How to Use the Skill

Choose a task you've been avoiding or struggling to start. Then create three levels of success.

Example: Exercise

Good - Stretch for five minutes

Better - Take a 15-minute walk

Best - Complete a full workout

Notice that all three options count. The goal isn't to force yourself to reach "best". The goal is to avoid getting stuck because "best" feels impossible.

Example: Self-Care

Good - Brush your teeth

Better - Brush your teeth and shower

Best - Complete your full morning routine

Example: Housework

Good - Put five items away

Better - Clean one room

Best - Deep clean the house

Example: Therapy Homework

Good - Read one page

Better - Complete part of the exercise

Best - Finish the entire assignment

A Real-Life Example

Imagine you're exhausted after a difficult week.

Your original goal is to exercise for 45 minutes.

You get home and immediately think: "I don't have the energy for that."

Without flexibility, you might skip movement altogether.

Using the Good, Better, Best framework:

Good - Walk around the block

Better - Walk for 20 minutes

Best - Complete the full workout

Maybe you choose "good". You still move your body. You still kept a promise to yourself. You still created momentum. That's a win.

Why "Good" Matters More Than You Think

Many people dismiss their "good" efforts because they don't seem impressive enough. But small actions have a cumulative effect. Research on habit formation and behavioral activation suggests that consistency often matters more than intensity.

A five-minute walk repeated regularly is often more beneficial than an ambitious workout plan that never happens. Small actions build trust. Each time you follow through, you send yourself a message: "I can do hard things, even when I don't feel like it."

Common Mistakes

Mistake #1: Treating "Good" as Failure

The purpose of this exercise is not to trick yourself into reaching "best". The purpose is to create multiple paths to success. If you complete the "good" option, you've succeeded.

Mistake #2: Making "Good" Too Difficult

Your "good" option should feel manageable even on a difficult day. If you're struggling with depression or burnout, "good" might be very small. That's okay.

Mistake #3: Moving the Goalposts

Many people complete the "good" option and then criticize themselves for not doing more. Notice that tendency. The skill only works if you allow "good" to count.

Try It Today

Think of one task you've been putting off. Now create three versions:

Good: What's the smallest step I could take?

Better: What's a moderate effort?

Best: What's my ideal outcome?

Then choose whichever option feels realistic today. Not on your best day. Not on your most productive day. Today. Because progress isn't measured by perfection. It's measured by your willingness to keep showing up, even when life feels hard. And sometimes "good" is exactly what you need.

References

Beck, J. S. (2021). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.

Dimidjian, S., Barrera, M., Jr., Martell, C., Muñoz, R. F., & Lewinsohn, P. M. (2011). The origins and current status of behavioral activation treatments for depression. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 7, 1–38. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-clinpsy-032210-104535

Kanter, J. W., Manos, R. C., Bowe, W. M., Baruch, D. E., Busch, A. M., & Rusch, L. C. (2010). What is behavioral activation? A review of the empirical literature. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(6), 608–620. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2010.04.001

Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W., & Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.674

Martell, C. R., Dimidjian, S., & Herman-Dunn, R. (2010). Behavioral activation for depression: A clinician's guide. Guilford Press.